Урок по езда… №1.

Тя живееше, за да живее.

Той – защото не можеше да си отиде.

Тя искаше да намери изгубеното си сърце.

Той – сам го беше дал и не го искаше обратно.

Това не ги спираше да експериментират един с друг, по възможно най-нежния начин, който може да си представи човек.

Нямаше караници – за него всичко беше… не безразлично… по-скоро безрадостно, безцветно, може би дори безсмислено.

Смисълът, който го държеше закотвен, беше да помага на тези хора, които по негова преценка имат нужда от помощта, която може да им даде.

Проблемът беше, че с жена като нея – нямаше как да му е безразлично всичко, та по някое време, след месеци сериозни усилия от нейна страна – защитната му стена някак си се пропука, но не достатъчно.

Не достатъчно, за да влезе тя и да вземе това, което искаше – но достатъчно, за да надникне и да го разбере, поне доколкото разликата в мирогледите им го позволяваше.

След това не се видяха дълго време – нито един от двамата не можеше да повярва напълно случилото се, а и двамата си имаха по един куп други неща, които да обсебват вниманието им и да им запълват времето.

Той отговаряше за звеното на преводачите към бившата държавна сигурност, по настоящем – център за предпазване от вредни вътрешни и външни влияния, към парламента – но основната работа се вършеше от други лица.

Тя беше поет.

Свалката им беше чисто интелектуална, тоест на етап ухажване – през цялата продължителност на връзката, която, за жалост, така и не консумираха.

Но като всяка интелектуална свалка – си беше състезание, сама по себе си.

Кой ще успее да накара другия, без да го кара, разбира се – да сподели повече от това, което чувства, мисли, разбира, желае – това беше основното в тази връзка.

Победители нямаше – и двамата загубиха, печелейки – както става при всяка смислена и безпроблемна комуникация между две човешки същества.

Загубиха частите от себе си, които усетиха, че са били неприятни за другия.

Спечелиха тези части от другия, които успяха да разберат, осмислят като полезни и съответно да приложат като норми в собственото си поведение.

The Easter Bunny ,)

𝗢, 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿!

𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗹𝗱, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴.

𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴…

𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀.

𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝘂𝗱𝘀…

„𝗛𝗼𝗼—𝗿𝗮𝘆!!!“ 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱,

𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀, 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘁.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲, 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗲𝘀, 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗱,

𝗮 𝗰𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗻 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗼𝗳, 𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗹𝗱,

𝗮 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗳, 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝘁,

𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘀, 𝗮 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵.

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𝗢, 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿!

𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗴𝗴 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴.

𝗜𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗞—𝟵, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲,

𝗜𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀, 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲.

𝗜𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝘂𝗱𝘀,

𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗹𝘆, 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀..

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝘄 „𝗛𝗼𝗼“—𝘀,

𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝘄𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝗲.

𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁,

𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁, 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘁, 𝗼𝗻, 𝗼𝗻𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀, 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸.

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𝗢, 𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆! :𝗗~

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘄𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗹𝘁, 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗹𝘆,

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱, 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁, 𝗱𝗿𝘆.

𝗢𝗻 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗽𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲, 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀,

𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗿𝘆 𝗲𝗴𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿, 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗻𝘁𝘀…

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘃𝗮, 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘃𝗮 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘁,

𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗳𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝘂𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁.

𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁,

𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘁.

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𝗢, 𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆! :𝗗~

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁—𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁…

𝗜𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲—𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁,

𝗢𝗳 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀, 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱,

𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗮 𝗳𝗲𝘂𝗱.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸,

𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗻𝗼 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁,

𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁,

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗳𝗯𝗼𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲, 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁,

𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁…

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𝗢, 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿!

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁, 𝗯𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻, 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱,

𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝗵𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗕𝘂𝗱𝗱𝗵𝗮 — 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗯𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱,

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁 — 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝗡𝗼𝗮𝗵, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱…

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 —

𝗻𝗼 𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻,

𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼𝗽, 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗲, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗱 —

𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗹 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 — 𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 —

𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆: ‘𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲!’

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹,

𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹.

*

𝗢, 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿!

𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆! :𝗗~ 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗹…

𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝘆, 𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗿𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝘂𝗹…

𝗜𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲, 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝗻’𝘁,

𝗧𝗵𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁,

𝗔𝘀 𝗔𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀,

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀,

𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁,

𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 — 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗶𝘁,

𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗕𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆! :𝗗~

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲,

𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.

The gods themselves

Eisendorf sat in his laboratory and thought. It was late at night, but he didn’t mind. He stayed there often, alone with whatever thoughts would fill his mind. Social interactions aggravated him, which is why he kept only a small circle of acquaintances and his two true friends were the rain and the universe itself. He thought about one of them often. The other made him feel at home, whenever it came. He liked to watch the drops form irregular patterns on the windows. His line of thought was never straight, which is why most of his hypotheses were impossible to prove. He wasn’t afraid of this. His own approval was enough. The only things he didn’t like were impossibilities. This is exactly why he gave so much thought to the universe.

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This theory was even wilder than the previous one (that it could be alive, having its own “chemistry” in which stars are like atom nuclei, planets – the electrons), but it was better, good enough to put down in writing.

🌃

It stated:

“Assuming it is infinite, there is no escaping the universe. That doesn’t, however necessarily mean there is nothing outside it. It’s probably just more scarcely populated – a bigger infinity. This would make the universe much like a black hole, which matter can only enter, but can never exit and which is a lot denser than its surroundings. And what could there possibly be at the center of a black hole, but another black hole, even denser. And at the center of that one, there could only be another, yet denser one. If we actually exist inside a sort of a black hole, eventually almost everything would get sucked in towards the denser black hole at the center, and matter flowing outwards towards the edges would automatically get pulled back inwards. However, given the fact that only more matter can enter, but none can exit, at some point in the inner-most black hole the density would become so extreme, that the internal temperature would reach such levels, as for the whole thing to explode. While it can safely be assumed that the laws of physics in such an environment have absolutely nothing to do with the ones we call our own, whatever they are – an explosion, while it might not cause matter to exit the black hole, would nevertheless surely cause energy fluctuations in the outside world. Vibrations. Movement. And that is exactly what could cause the creation of things that could not have existed there before that. Anomalies, assuming the normal state of everything is at rest. This would explain Hawking radiation without allowing matter to exit a black hole. In any case – without movement, what we consider as matter wouldn’t exist. In that sense – everything could be viewed as a vibration or product thereof, and therefore as an anomaly. Still, something has to have had created the first anomaly, for anything to have begun. I’ll work on that later. For now I can assume that if we live inside a black hole, inside another black hole, at some point in the outwards progression, it should be possible for all or most matter inside a black hole to exit, given enough energy from outside. It could even be possible in our universe, under the right conditions. Momentum gives energy to mass. And what better way to destroy the integrity of something than to smash it into something similar at as high a speed as possible? So what happens when two black holes collide at a very high speed? A “big bang”? It is impossible to predict without knowing the internal structure of a black hole, and that we cannot really observe or measure. The whole life of our universe could be a split-second from the life of infinitely large beings, as a product of such a collision in an infinitely big black hole accelerator. In a similar manner, but on a much smaller scale – we could be creating a new “miniverse” with every single collision in our own particle accelerators.”

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If there were gods and they were big – they never cared, he thought gloomily, mainly because they never even knew what they created, as it disappeared before their eyes.

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But if there were and they were small – then all they did was care, the counter-argument came immediately.

And they sacrificed themselves and all they knew in order to restart the universe.

All they knew, however little of it remained.